Not much to say today.
Me and my friend *Macistar started a new club! Go take a look there!

It's my silly idea, so I can't tell if it will work or not, but I wanted to try it. It's always better to be depressed not alone and sharing artworks on the subject and cheering people up by giving some comments may just help everyone in the end. At least it's sort of my idea and point.


** Feeling depressed lately and made an artwork because of that? Or maybe you did something to cheer up someone down? Or just maybe you feel well and just desire to let others cheering and useful comments on their arts? Well if any of this, than CLUB is for you! We await new members!!! **

*note: I know the club main page doesn't look that cool, but please don't let yourselves stop by it! We will make update it over time and make it more beautiful, give us a chance!


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Clubs:

I’m officially making my first DEPRESSION !!! Yeah, what’s so the point to be cheer up about it? Well, for the first time my pain DO enter a category! I can put a name on it!!!! Aww, no it’s not that great, but after writing a lot of things down yesterday I had to face it : I’m doing my first big depression in my life.
I had other times when I felt way WORST then right now, but it wasn’t really a depression, I was feeling-less, painful, suicidal, stubborn… such things, but not unmotivated and depressed.

I passed the last two month collecting personal failure one after the other making what was left of my self esteem collapse and my personal and deep beliefs were mostly screw up as I realized too many things were only lies…
Last week, too drained to fight, too emotional to rest, my emotions started leaving me again despite all the effort I put into finding them during the last year. Out of strength and self confidence I was heading for my death again. I comforted myself in the thought I would end all of this, after all, it was all my fault I couldn't fix myself. In a nutshell, I gave it my all and failed abruptly on all levels, I thought I could handle things but I couldn’t even if I should have. I was left lifeless, desperate, confused and annihilated.

So slowly, very slowly I was going to my death and not my life anymore… until I stumble on this : [link]
and something in me have been triggered.

Yeah… it’s not because she is in a “worst” situation than me that it cheered me up. I’m sick of hearing people say I have everything so I should be happy. I do not have everything and it’s not because I appear normal that everything IN me is all normal. Anyways… There is something at the end of her text Lisa wanted us to understand and take to heart. After reading all her bio, this is how I took her words : no matter the situation, we always have something. For some moments I stopped crying and looked up at myself “ be grateful for what you do have? What do I have?” And there are things I have, still have despite all.
What is kicking my ass about her text, is not to see someone having great difficulties, but the fact that despite all her difficulties she still struggle and wish to go on. Go on giving, go on growing, alive. That is what triggered something in me. To see someone honestly facing a lot of difficulties and humiliations and still want to go on. I think she still see what she has in her life and I think it’s one of the reason why she is going on. THAT reached me.

Your text reached me despite my all my confusion and sadness, Lisa, despite I started hiding away in my shell. And something happened and kicked me back not so pleasantly on the path of living...

There is always something that we have, something that matter us, something we can do or feel. Lisa’s bio opened up my heart eyes on this truth once again. Thank you dear, thank you very much for sharing with us. Haven't it ever appeared to you that you were beautiful ?!
...


It's not because I found out some rare strength and concentration to talk here that I'm all going to be fine. I drop a lot of level in a too short period of time, please don't tell me how bad I am, I know it already.

I pass some depressing-pleasant time with one of my friend too. That helped! And another... I've been so mean to her and she answered me with kindness and hugs. She is so confusing to me, but in the end it doesn't matter because she makes me feel better.

So that's it for today. The hardest is still to come for me. I have a lot of things to deal with and I still don't know how I'll get throught it. Still, it's better not to be alone.



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Clubs:

Hi people!
I started to write my story in english and I’m facing an important dilemma : names. I always find the names of my characters by myself, that’s fine, but what about the places??? That I really suck to find. So I wonder, does anybody have tips to give me?

How do you people find the names for your places, country or events?

If you don’t have tips, maybe some of you would have some inspiration or suggestions ? Here are some of the main item/places I have to find names for :

- magical water : find in particular and relatively rare sources throughout humans territory. This is very important since it’s because of those sources that the humans gain magical power. Haven’t find a name for it yet except “magical water”

- dark elves’ island : the dark elves in my story are kept imprison (well almost…can you really imprison dark elves? ) on a distant island and not underground. I can’t go on without finding a name for that island! Come on, the dark elves would have name their piece of territory… I really have no idea how to call it.

- more general kingdoms : how do you find names of cities and kingdoms? Mostly human but also light elves main cities names could be nice.

- a huge snowstorm that occur once a year and that bring winter with it.


I would greatly appreciate any kind of suggestions or tips, anything could inspire me and help me! Please! Thanks for any kind of idea!

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Clubs:

I don't understand : love. What does it mean... what should it feels like? To care, to love, to have friends or a lover, what's the difference? How can we love someone, well in fact I wonder more am I able to love? To care healthily and plenty? To built nourishin relationships?

It may sound stupid but I usually am capable to figure things out, no matter what it is, when I get to it. But this time... i try and I try again, I run around the whole thing and what I've been through but understanding constantly slip through my hands! It's frustrating! There are things I understands but there is a kind of so secure and nourrishing love that I don't get at all. Just.. not at all!!! I know it exist, but when I put myself in the picture nothing works anymore, things doesn't add up, I don't understand what to do, what am I supposed to do, what am i supposed to feel? What should and can I tell? I get mix up to the point of not knowing what I truly feel or not...

Bah anyways.

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ARTS:
I'm 97% done with my painting!!!! so I'll update it very soon!

And I'll comment and answer to everyone shortly too. I'm getting to it slowly.

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Clubs:



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Some lyrics and text that makes me think on love...

(I translate the lyrics myself - L'essentiel)
"The essential
Is to be loved.
The rest matters little, the only truth
Is to count on someone
No matter what happens,
It’s to enter in a heart and never leave it.

It’s to receive as much as we’d like to give,
It’s to stop belonging to ourselves and find it reassuring
It’s to see the joy of the other and melt in happiness
To be worthy of his trust and to become better.

The essential
Is to be loved
Contrarily to all we can tell
It's not fortune or celebrity
Those are like wind and will eventually pass away

I think that the important is based on little things
To be waited home and to run on our way back
One of the most beautiful gift
That life did to us
Is when our name sounds like a sweet word.

The essential,
Day after day
Is the roar of laughter of a rushing child
That jumps in our heart by way of saying hello
What to ask more
Than those arms around us

The rest matters little, the only truth
Is to count on someone
No matter what happen,
To be exile one day in a foreign country
And still have in our heart someone to talk to
It’s to inspire in the other a so strong feeling
That it will follow us beyond death
It’s to be loved, again and always,
My love. "


And an answer to my poll on beautiful things:

"The most beautiful thing….perhaps not something we can see or touch, but one that we feel…love. Yes that’s it, love. It has to be. It an emotion that brings tears of joy and sadness. It’s something that causes people to go crazy over, to leap over boundaries that can not be scaled. It makes us feel alive with every pounding of our hearts. It gives us purpose and meaning in a life full of isolation. It brings us together. To me, love is the most beautiful thing of all. It’s a treasure that I share with the closest of my friends and family. It’s eternal and it’s also hard work. It needs nourishment and care. But the rewards love brings, are the most sacred of all… "
-Anna


That's it for today! Since I'm struggling over such ideas I wanted to share this.

Happy Easter everyone!!!


I just wanted to take a few minutes to wish everyone a Happy Easter and a wonderful week!

I won't take a long time here, I have an important painting I want to end as soon as possible. I should answer all my comments soon, once I've got that painting completed. Until then, be a little patient and hopeful, and take care.

Updates to come shortly!